December 14, 2025 | Mark Luis Foster

Sounds dangerous to me if you have chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Frankly never tried that, and likely never will. Yet, there’s another growing safety concern that has nearly everyone exposed: Porch Pirates.

Tis the season for people who take advantage of the modern convenience of package delivery. While we work, watch TV or just go about our daily lives while trying to stay warm in this ridiculous Minnesota weather, there are bad actors taking advantage of Amazon Prime deliveries.

According to Security.org:

An estimated 37 million packages are projected to be stolen in America in 2025. Valued at an average of $222 each, this represents over $8.2 billion in stolen merchandise.

Wow. That’s a good gig if you can get it. Over $8 billion? Of course, there are several states that have the highest incidence of such thievery.  Alabama wins with the highest increase in the last five years, 12.5%, experienced during November and December. And then…

Following Alabama, California and New York experienced the next-highest increases, with rises of 8.8% and 8.4%, respectively. Louisiana, Oklahoma, and Wisconsin rounded out the top six states most at risk, with increases between 6.7% and 7.8%. Other states seeing notable rises include West Virginia (6.5%), Virginia (6.2%), Texas (5.8%), and Rhode Island (5.2%).

Minnesota didn’t make the top cut, but our Wisco neighbors are seeing a rise, “rounding out the top six” for being most at risk. Those cheese deliveries…

And how do we safety-proof our HOA porches during the most wonderful time of the year?

Gene Petrino, lead adviser for Security.org, retired SWAT commander, and a hands-on security practitioner with nearly three decades of experience in law enforcement and private security, recommends the best way to thwart porch pirates is with a “layered approach.”

We’re all about layering, especially this time of year.

“No single device stops every theft, but combining visibility, lighting, and secure delivery options makes your home far less appealing to thieves,” he tells Realtor.com®. “Porch pirates want the fastest, lowest-risk grab possible. Anything that slows them down pushes them toward an easier target.”

As an aside, have you seen the videos of homeowners who bait packages with dye packs, so that when the package gets swiped the dye pack arms itself, causing a huge spray of nasty red or blue dye to coat the inside of the perp’s car as they attempt an escape? As a wonderful example, you’ll want to watch THIS. Dye packs are used in the banking industry too, with fake “bricks” of money usually ruining a person’s clothes before they get to the parking lot.

Back to ways to prevent porch piracy, according to Petrino:

For starters, make the front entry of your home as visible as possible.  “Trim shrubs, improve lighting, and remove anything that blocks the view from the street,” Petrino says. “Thieves avoid homes where neighbors can see them.” The most vulnerable locations are single-family homes with secluded porches or long walkways that give thieves cover and large apartment complexes with packages left in common areas or unsecured mail rooms. To that end, Petrino suggests delivery solutions like Amazon lockers, UPS Access Points, and in-store pickup eliminate the risk altogether. “A lockable parcel box on your porch is another good option,” he suggests.

There’s a full article about this including the state statistics, HERE. Stay safe out there.